Tag Archives: Jazz

New Poem on Blognostics!

I am pleased to announce that I’ve got another poem up on Blognostics!

I THOUGHT MY WIFE WOULDN’T BE HOME FOR ANOTHER HOUR AT LEAST

Feeling Peckish? Then do the following –

Read My Poem

While listening to the below song.

Rik V
happy cat

A Poem on Broadsheet – After You’ve Wiped Your Arse Before You’ve Washed Your Hands!

toilet 2

Read my state of the nation poem on Broadsheet called, After You’ve Wiped Your Arse But Before You’ve Washed Your Hands. Second poem down.

Please Click Me

pants8

 

You don’t need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows.

paul Mc

 

From My New Book

Wiping My Milk Moustache Clean With My Sleeve

 

Rik V

happy cat

The Steam of My Piss (poembook) now available on Amazon!

TSOMP cover.jpg

My second poembook is now available on Amazon in Paperback or Kindle – click click click!

Blurb

TSOMP is ordering fishboxes from the chipper with your Ma on a Friday.

TSOMP is two busstop Madonnas waiting for the Number 40 outside St. James’ hospital.

TSOMP is Elvis being alive and well in a back garden five doors up the road when the ice cream van comes.

TSOMP is licking the piss and eating the shit from your streets.

TSOMP is William Shatner singing Common People by Pulp and the miners’ strike.

TSOMP is John Lennon and the Marcel Duchamp up his nose.

TSOMP is Denis O’Brien’s magic flute in Vienna.

TSOMP is sniffing your chicken Kiev fingers after dinner.

TSOMP is David Bowie’s death and sticking two gangrene thumbs up your nostrils when you’re dead.

TSOMP is a communist co-op on Decies Road in the 1950s shut down by the church’s gold finger of fury.

TSOMP is the hanging testicles of Ballyfermot brought to you by a tight green pair of vintage running shorts.

TSOMP is chicken sausages on the Saturday Allstars’ shelf of bargains in Tesco’s.

TSOMP is finding the best kisser in Ballyer walking the wards of James’ hospital.

But mostly TSOMP is The Steam Of My Piss and is Camillus John’s second poembook kebab-full of modern life’s ups, downs and roundabouts with an all-singing-all-dancing cherry on top that looks a lot like Christmas.

From Ballyer Press.

Rik V

happy cat

How To Be A Bicycle (Novel) now available on Amazon!

How to be a Bicycle cover

My novel is now available in Paperback or Kindle – Click click click!

Blurb

Doctor Scream, American billionaire, is in Ireland to set up a Donut Factory. He’s got permission from the Irish government to put his workers on drugs for a year. The drug Scream has developed, The Donut Hole, enables people to work longer, stronger and faster. It also sharpens their intelligence like a pencil parer. Or so he claims. After a year, the government has committed to holding a referendum that if passed would put the entire Irish workforce on the hole forever and thus create a drugged-up super race of workers that’s finally able to compete with the Germans and the Chinese. There’s only one problem. The drug has a side effect.

 

Wendy Cheese, Manager of the Donut Factory, has hired Scoopy, Wallace, Darren and Fred as General Operatives and guinea-pig Donut Hole swallowers.Wendy likes Scoopy. Scoopy likes Wendy. Scoopy also likes Sharon. But Scoopy might be a bike. He’s not sure. Wallace likes Darren. Darren likes Wallace. Both are bikes. Fred loves his wife Cathleen. Cathleen loves Fred. But Fred is now definitely a bike. He doesn’t want to sex with Cathleen anymore but Cathleen still wants to sex with Fred. It’s getting complicated. On the horizon there’s 12,000 homeless people from the camps in the Phoenix Park marching towards the Donut Factory for their just deserts.

How To Be A Bicycle, a novel about gender by Camillus John.

From Ballyer Press.

Rik V

 

happy cat

Throwing a Sausage Back and Forth for Five Minutes without Letting it Drop

Image result for john baldessari trying to photograph a ball so that it's

I have a fiction published in the new issue of Blood Tree Literature, an online Lit Mag based in Santa Fee, New Mexico, USA, entitled, Throwing a Sausage Back and Forth for Five Minutes without Letting it Drop in their experimental / Hybrid Section. Written a while ago now, during my extended ‘coddle’ period. 😊

Click here for the story!

Inspired by a work by conceptual artist, John Baldessari, from 1972/73, entitled, Trying to Photograph a Ball So that it is in the Centre of the Picture.

“As a result of the goal, laid down in advance, of getting the ball as near to the centre of the picture as possible, Baltessari relieved himself of any further compositional decision and achieved pictures that no longer have anything to do with the problem of ‘that looks good alongside that.’ Like his painting before, his treatment of photography is no longer determined by craft skills or formal innovation, but by the strategic abandonment or deliberate disregard of conventional rules.”

i.e. an extremely pretentious way of justifying a very silly title.  This fiction goes well with Getting it away with it by Electronic. “Enjoy.” 😊 😊 😊

 

Rik V

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“Arseways by Camillus John” written by Camillus John now available to read on The Scum Gentry alternative arts forum

Reggae 1

Above: Reggae Fairy (2016)

Hey Presto link to the Scum Gentry!!!

Some people have really shitty Christmases and a long, long, long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, so did I.  In light of this tinsel-less fact, here’s a metaficion of mine in which I stick three heads up my own fictional arse. Contains a seasonal sprinkling of sprouts.

Image result for sprouts

As Shakin’ Stevens would say – ‘Merry Christmas – everyone.’

tinsel

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Triptych Now Available to Read in Lifeblood – Anthology of shortlisted stories in ITT’s Short Story Competition 2017!

My story entitled

Triptych

(which is dedicated to Vincent Browne on his recent retirement)

is available to read at the following link

Hey Presto!!

ITT 1

 

ITT 2

 

Rik V

happy cat