Monthly Archives: February 2015

Just when you thought life couldn’t get any worse – the Polar Bear Climate Change blues

I’ve decided to complete the polar bear trilogy by reblogging this.

Janey Macken Street!

After the complete destruction of his natural habitat by humans, a polar bear travels in to work on the 6.a.m. LUAS for his first day.

Just when he thought life couldn’t get any worse –

polar bear luas

                                         Man in grey suit:         Sorry, but that seat is taken mate.

                                         Pedro Polar Bear:        Growl!

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Happy International Polar Bear Day! Now please behave.

It’s international polar bear day!

pb walking

So this is a warning to all polar bears out there who went on the lash last year

after all the festivities.

cone pb

sick pb

falling pb

pb lying

Please try and control yourselves this year

lads and lassies, eh?

Remember, you don’t need to end up trying to scale The Spire in O’Connell Street

at the end of every night out you know.

fingers pb

Just get a taxi straight home, promise?

cat please

“Of course I will  Janey Macken Street.

Of course I will.

Would I lie to you?

cute pb

Little old me? Eh?

Grand so. I’m off to the pub – ahem –

for a nice cup of tea Janey, I swear!”

Mrs doyle

A polar bear makes a defiant stand against climate change after his partner runs off with a Russian oligarch taking all the eels.

A polar bear surveys the scene in Spitsbergen, northern Norway

“I Will Survive”

“At first I was afraid
I was petrified
Kept thinking I could never live
without you by my side
But then I spent so many nights
thinking how you did me wrong
And I grew strong
And I learned how to get along
Image result for funny polar bear
and so you’re back
from outer space
I just walked in to find you here
with that sad look upon your face
I should have changed that stupid lock
I should have made you leave your key
If I had known for just one second
you’d be back to bother me Go on now go walk out the door
just turn around now
’cause you’re not welcome anymore
weren’t you the one who tried to hurt me with goodbye
Did you think I’d crumble
Did you think I’d lay down and die
Oh no, not I
I will survive
Oh as long as I know how to love
I know I will stay alive
I’ve got all my life to live
I’ve got all my love to give
and I’ll survive
I will survive (hey-hey)It took all the strength I had
not to fall apart
kept trying hard to mend
the pieces of my broken heart
and I spent oh so many nights
just feeling sorry for myself
I used to cry
But now I hold my head up high
and you see me
somebody new
I’m not that chained up little person
still in love with you
and so you felt like dropping in
and just expect me to be free
and now I’m saving all my loving
for someone who’s loving meGo on now go walk out the door
just turn around now
’cause you’re not welcome anymore
weren’t you the one who tried to break me with goodbye
Did you think I’d crumble
Did you think I’d lay down and die
Oh no, not I
I will survive
Oh as long as I know how to love
I know I will stay alive
I’ve got all my life to live
I’ve got all my love to give
and I’ll survive
I will survive.”

Happy International Polar Bear Day!

27th February 2015

Peaceful Protest!

Image result for polar bear shell protest

Down with Shell and that sort of thing!

polar shell

Image result for funny polar bear

Bye bye see yall next year!

New Cure for Impotence – Fruity Earplugs

 

A new study has revealed that too much noise

in modern cities is bad for you.

Small

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2956356/Warning-deaf-generation.html

The only way to beat it is

with the Fiver Shop’s new

Fruity Earplugs.

fruity plugs

A Fiver Each.

stumped

How?

Stick a plug in each ear

and remove all noise instantly.

slum landlords

Each plug secretes a nice flavour

when in the ear,

so that you can lick it clean whenever

you remove it from you aural passages,

lenny

thus making all your earwax

fully sustainable.

Swallow.

drool

Fruity Earplugs come in three flavours –

banana

The Banana Plug

plum

The Plum Plug

pear

and the Pear Plug.

Stick ’em all in your ears!

And all guaranteed to play John Cage’s

4’33” on a loop

until fully satisfied.

cat smile

You know it makes sense.

Del boy

Don’t you?

??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

I’ll take that as a yes.

Irish Judge rashers himself onto your plate.

An Irish judge that tells the truth

is like a flying pig

flying pig

that rasher’s itself

directly onto your plate.

rashers

Not gonna happen.

http://www.irishtimes.com/news/crime-and-law/courts/supreme-court/supreme-court-rejects-challenge-to-school-s-admission-policy-1.2115378

Welcome to Ireland everybody!

goya

magritte

I see nothing, I’m from Judge-alona.

manuel

McDonald’s Music

I’m going to be a star!

 bun 1

Of course you are.

Of course you are.

Louis Walsh

Just smear some mustard on your top bun

and mayo on your bottom

please Missy.

Won’t ya?

 ———————————————————————————————————-

McDonald’s Music

hamburger 2

A short story

by Camillus John.

——————————————————————————————————–

Coming soon.

Not available in the shops.

The first picture of Gerry Adams’ arse emerges

Gerry Adams has said that the water protesters recently jailed

should be released but that people protesting the protesters’ jailing

should not have blocked the roads afterwards.

bush

To put this comment into its proper context

the first picture has emerged

of Gerry Adam’s arse.

maggie thatch

No surprises there methinks.

As soon as the bumfluff cleared,

this was always going to be the full picture –

of his arse.

http://www.independent.ie/irish-news/news/protesters-march-to-mountjoy-prison-31006211.html

Rik Rik