I’ve stopped submitting to places for a long time now but last year I wrote a poem to “welcome” Donald Trump to Ireland entitled, Guess Who’s Coming To Dinner?, and the great, great guys at Boyne Berries are publishing it in Boyne Berries 24 this coming October. It’s probably the best poem ever published in any publication anywhere in this country. Ever. Past. Present or future. Ever. Such great guys though. Really. Truly. Great, great guys they are down in Trim. Great cover too. Click the below link for more great details of this great, great event.
It’s not often that a working-class writer gets poetry published by such a prestigious and chimerical bookhouse as Ballyer Press.
So while stocks last get your roller-skates and matching elbow-pads on and feed your mind, body and soul on such poems as:
Why The Privileged Need To Read Literature;
Conor McGregor And His Amazing Technicolour Tracksuit;
I’m Damned Because I’m Not From The Country;
The Priest’s Not Gay He’s A Pervert;
Born And Raised In The Jacks;
We Are Bumfluff;
The Unbearable Lightness Of The Ironic Man;
I Wish I Was A Giant Electronic Frog With Pink Lips;
No Palestinians Allowed Beyond This Point;
Every Time I Cough I Fart;
Watching Mrs Brown On The Telly;
And many more reusable wordbags of bum-rushing entertainment.
Camillus John’s fictionbook, Groin Frosties With Jazzy Hand – The Pervert’s Guide To Modern Fiction, is also available from the same bookhouse.
If you’ve always suspected that something was missing from and not quite right with modern fiction, you’ll be glad all over to read the following lightbulber; you were right all along.
Therefore, swallow the red pill by taking Camillus John’s jazzy hand in yours on his Pervert’s Guide to Modern Fiction for over three hundred transgressive pages.
Includes such fiction as –
The Rise and Fall of Cinderella’s Left Testicle;
Rupert Rope – The Chap With Two Arseholes;
Kicking My Mother in the Head; Why Conor McGregor Lost His Fight to Mayweather;
The Assassination of Enda Kenny (after Hilary Mantel);
The Flying Superhero Clothes Horse Himself;
The Pervert’s Guide to Modern Fiction by Mrs Pimple;
The Woman Who Shagged Christmas;
Throwing a Sausage Back and Forth for Five Minutes Without Letting it Drop;
Watching a DVD with an Estate Agent;
Who’s Afraid of Coddle?;
Dreyfus Feedbag Wants Your Nose;
And many more whistle-stops of the alternative.