The Giant Electronic Frog With Pink Lips. Alan’s Story.

What makes a teacher great?

Photographers, artists, poets: show us GREATNESS.


The Giant Electronic Frog with Pink Lips.

The Purple Lumphammer is not just for people, it equally welcomes giant electronic frogs with pink lips. I’m Alan by the way. This is how it happened for me.


A few years ago I entered  this Janey Macken Street writing class, The Purple Lumphammer, as a man carrying a grey notebook, wearing grey clothes, and thinking grey thoughts with two faded go-faster stripes up the sides.

The teacher placed a lumpy potato on the table for us to write about and waved her magic wand. I looked and saw my legs stretching. Then I noticed Roddy Doyle down the back teaching a ferret how to use the internet. This was of course part of their Famous Writers Not Writing series. My skin turned green.

The chap next to me explained that they had John Banville eating a trifle lined up the following week. My voice went all croaky when I read my first piece of flash fiction to the  class finishing with a ribbit ribbit.

I noticed a picture of Anne Enright on the wall playing a chocolate guitar just as my lips turned pink and my insides electronic. So I hopped over the teacher and wrote a poem on the blackboard about happiness.

So as you can see, anyone who doesn’t love The Purple Lumphammer, is a scoundrel.

Sign up now! And tell ‘em Alan sent ya!  Ribbit. Ribbit.

8 thoughts on “The Giant Electronic Frog With Pink Lips. Alan’s Story.

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