It’s Finger Friday – for Fairness. Yes, it’s Give-Fingers-Fungleton-The-Finger Friday.

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2013/09/20/daily-prompt-fair/

Today the Daily prompt was –

Tell us about something you think is terribly unfair — and explain how you would rectify it.

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Today it’s Finger Friday. Yes, it’s ‘Give-Fingers-Fungleton-the-Finger’ Friday!’

Fingers Fungleton is a rat in a fedora.  He used to be a famous banker.

He broke the country.  Which isn’t fair at all.

Here’s what to do.

rat

‘Hello everybody! Call me Fingers. Oh please do. I know you want to.’

Fingers needs to eat one human finger a week in order to survive. Otherwise, he’ll die.

‘I’m doomed darlings. Doomed.’

He can smell time.

‘Sniff. Sniff. It’s half six – dah-dah! Time for me to vamoose out of here. Wink. Wink.’

Who is he?

He’s Fingers Fungleton, the rat that can smell time!

‘But darlings, please remember, I do need those fingers to survive.’

Bad Barney is the person who sources these human fingers for him.

‘A gorgeous fellow indeed.’

Barney gives him the finger every Friday.

On finger Friday.

‘One finger a week and the job is oxo Barney, the job is oxo.’

Barney – ‘Hey Fingers – today is Friday! Rah! Rah! Rah!

And this is Stony Flourface.’

flour 2

‘Why how do you do Stony?’

‘Hi Fingers. I used to work in a shop Fingers. It went bankrupt recently and I lost my job. You know what? I’m only too willing to give you the finger. Only too willing indeed.’

‘Well then, that’s marvellous, bring it on my boy. Bring it on. Give me the finger now Stony Flourface. Come on, give me the finger!’

And he did.

Barney chopped it off,

Stony fainted –

and Fingers ate it all up.

‘Half seven precisely,’ said Fingers. Wink. Wink.

rat

He’s Fingers Fungleton, the rat that can smell time!

Opportunity!

Would you, yourself, like to give Fingers Fungleton the finger? It can be arranged easily enough. Apply to Howie in the Fiver shop today post haste. Usual terms and conditions apply. i.e. it’ll cost you a fiver.   An offer not to be sniffed at indeed.

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